Thursday, April 23, 2009

i just don't get it...

marriage takes a lot of work. marriage is tough. marriage requires compromise. all things i heard and knew before actually entering into it. but really, i dont think i had any clue what those meant. and i'm sure i'm only just hitting the tip of the iceberg. we've been married for 3 months. and we are learning and adjusting everyday.

but i swear there is one thing about darren that i just dont understand and i dont know if i'll ever get it. he is the kind of guy who if he's said it once, it doesn't need to be said again. ever. like, for example, "you're beautiful". or even "i love you". seriously, you think since you've told me you love me once you never have to tell me again? ever? really? i cannot for the life of me wrap my head around that one. are we really supposed to go for the rest of our lives without telling each other, without hearing from the other, that we love them?

obviously there's more to loving someone than just saying the words. but if i'm going to live with you for the rest of my life, you'd darn well better plan on saying those words.


Meagan said...

I'm so sorry sweetie. I hope you guys work through this one. But you also got to remember that it isn't really his job. He isn't God and it is God's love and God who thinks you are beautiful first and formost..... though I agree, it is nice to hear it from the hubby too.

Grandma said...

When we first got married, I was the one who didn't want to say I love you all the time. I told Mark that I already told him I loved him and when I changed my mind, I'd let him know. But (fortunately) I changed and now make sure that everyday I tell him I love him as he does me. You keep up your part and I'm fairly confident Darren will follow....If not, just tell him you need to hear such endearments and words of assurance more often.

Joanna said...

Although it's tongue-in-cheek, I once was told that I had to "train my husband." I thought that was odd, but really that's sort of what you have to do.

When Del and I were first married, I went to Korea and he stayed in America. We would make times for calling and Del would constantly forget to call me. I sat alone in my dorm room on Christmas day waiting for him to call and he never did. He was TERRIBLE about communication in that way (excellent communicator/bad telephone guy). Now, 10 years later, he calls me all the time. He'll call me on his way to work, at work, on his way home from work, sometimes he calls so much I have to tell him to stop calling me. It took a long time to get it through his head that I needed that, but he got it. It just takes patience...although, I did yell at him a lot and put a lot of guilt trips on him...not that I'm proud of that or anything.

It's not going to change over night but eventually he will learn what you need from him and give that to you.

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